Hair

March 9th: I love your soft, beautiful, blonde hair. You had so much! I know that you would have hair as long if not longer than Reagan’s hair- and she has A LOT. We first put a bow in your hair when you were really little. One of our very special RN’s in the NICU tied a tiny pink ribbon into a bow and we stuck it in your hair with KY jelly! I loved it; you looked so girly and precious. I remembered thinking oh my, I’m going to have to learn how to do hair for both my wiggly girls. After you were both in the NICU for quite some time and you were becoming the bigger babies in the NICU and were growing so much hair. Your Dad and some of the nurses decided that you were winning the hair growing contest in the NICU!! I would give anything to kiss your head and rub my cheek against your soft hair again.

Twin connection

First time the girls were able to reconnect.

Our first family picture!







March 8th: I love the close connection that you and Reagan had and will always have. In utero your hearts were literally right next to each other. In fact sometimes when the nurses were looking for two heartbeats during monitoring, it would be difficult to distinguish between the two because they were so close. The times that you were together in the hospital you were like magnets- drawn together by a special connection that only twins can have. When we had your beautiful Christmas pictures taken you were so sick and distraught but we put Reagan next to you and you instantly calmed and your sats returned to normal. I will never forget that day. I think you were startled the first few times you heard Reagan cry when you were in the same room in ICC together but soon after you remembered oh yes, that’s my sister and its OK I love her. I pray everyday that Reagan will remember you and hold you close in her heart. I don’t want her to forget that she has a sister.

Bravery- you haven't seen it until you've met a preemie

March 7th: I love that you were the bravest person I know. You endured so much- six surgeries, more iv sticks than I can count, more lab draws than one person should ever have to have, pain, struggling to breathe constantly, insomnia, illness and multiple other medical issues. Even after all of these terrible things, you were still strong, you kept fighting and hung on until your little body could not handle anymore. Every time I say to myself “I can’t” I should remember that whatever I have to go through is easy compared to what you went through. I love you my brave little angel.

You're so funny

March 6th: I love how your tongue was always moving. It’s like once you discovered that it was there you had to use it. It was so funny to watch you explore your mouth and lips this way.

Look at their hands

March 5th: I love your tiny hands. A friend told me that there are traditional Chinese medicine points on hands that help with healing the lungs. From that point on I rubbed those points. I felt entirely helpless when we were in Texas but one of the things that I could do was to stroke your hands. I rubbed your hands for hours; they were so soft and warm. With each stroke I prayed that you would get better, stronger and that I could take you home to be with your Dad, sister and your doggie. Looking back even though I spent hours stroking your hands I never noticed that you had a single palmar crease on your left hand. This was revealed in the autopsy report. This is something so small that anyone could miss but so significant to us.

Your eyes

March 4th: I love your beautiful eyes; they had such vibrancy and sparkle. And they were so intense- staring up at us when we held you, studying everything around you, taking it all in as if you wanted to remember everything about this earth because you knew your time here was limited.

Dimples

March 3rd: I love the tiny dimples on your elbows, hips and knees. They became more pronounced with each ounce you added. Who would've ever thought a 1 lb 1/2 oz baby could have dimples...